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Call from the Bullpen by David Maull

The Bullpen | Sports Front Page

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What can YOU do with $10 Million?
From the July 23, 1998 TV Times

For $100,000 a year, I could:

· Pay off the balances on all my credit cards.

· Pay off mine and my wife's car loans.

· Scrape together a down payment on a new home.

For $500,000 a year, I could:

· Pay off the balances on all my credit cards.

· Pay off mine and wife's car loans.

· Buy a new home outright.

For $1 million a year, I could:

· Pay off the balances on my credit cards and keep them paid off for good.

· Pay off my car loans and purchase a new car.

· Buy a new home outright and have a down payment for a vacation home in Montana.

· Make more money than the President of the United States.

· Begin to feel self-important.

For $2 million a year, I could:

· Charge all the furniture in my house and still pay off the credit card balance when the bill arrives.

· Buy a big Mercedes for myself and a BMW for my wife.

· Buy a new primary home, a vacation home in Montana and a vacation home for my parents in Key West.

· Take two months paid vacation each year to any destination I pleased.

· Begin looking down my nose at people who drive Ford Escorts and do manual labor jobs.

· Think only of myself.

For $3 million a year, I could:

· Charge furniture, airline tickets to Paris and a week at a $400-per-night hotel and still pay off the credit card balance.

· Pay cash for a big Mercedes, BMW, Rolls Royce and top-of-the-line, four-wheel-drive recreational vehicle.

· Buy a home in a private golf course community. Buy a Montana vacation home in a private golf course community. Buy my parents a vacation home in an elite Key West waterfront community.

· Be nominated for membership in a country club.

· Become disenchanted with my current salary and display a poor attitude around the office.

· Support an expensive drug habit.

· Give an annoyed brush off to any commoner who has the nerve to want to speak to me.

For $4 million a year, I could:

· Use my credit cards to purchase furniture, jewelry and stereo equipment and to rent limos for wild nights on the town.

· Buy a garage full of cars, most of which I will never drive.

· Add an indoor basketball court and movie theater to my home.

· Have an entourage of friends escort me wherever I go and threaten bodily harm upon anyone who comes near me.

· Refuse to come to work until my increased salary demands are met by management.

· Blow off a scheduled appearance at a charity event simply because I didn't feel like going.

For $5 million a year, I could:

· Charge $15,000 worth of expensive clothes, golf clubs and gold chains without batting an eye.

· Build a giant mansion that I will probably never live in but desire simply because it's a nice thing to have.

· Expand the garage of my main home to make room for 20 more cars that I will never drive.

· Demand another increase in salary, not because I need the money, but because a co-worker makes more money and my ego must be satisfied.

· Hire the best lawyer available after being arrested for DUI, marijuana possession and assaulting a police officer. Get sentenced to 200 hours of community service.

· Easily shell out $1 million to resolve a civil lawsuit after members of my entourage are accused of throwing a bar patron through a glass window.

For $6-$10 million a year, I could:

· Buy a closet full of Armani suits and a walk-in safe for all my gold jewelry, much of which I never wear.

· Hire a chauffeur to drive me around in cars that I wouldn't have driven anyway.

· Get my boss fired by complaining to his superiors that he is too demanding.

· Have my $138,000 Mercedes seized by police after two friends are caught using it for drug dealing. Not feel the least bit bad about it.

· Begin believing I'm God's gift to this earth.

Sound familiar?